The Brink of Insanity
by Frostedwings
Summary: It drove him to the brink of insanity and back again.  But when did it start?  This terrible, twisted longing he had for her?  –Set post-series. Immortal LelouchxC.C.


A/N: It occurs to me that this is the first fanfiction I've ever written for an anime. About time I guess.

I thought about trashing this story quite a few times, but at this point I've put enough work into it that letting it sit would just seem like a waste. Lelouch and C.C. are one of my all time favorite pairings, and it pains me that so little of their relationship is revealed in the anime.

Anyways, some context- Basically I assume that Lelouch somehow, magically became immortal against his will (or at least not by choice), and that for reasons unknown, C.C. has suddenly started becoming distant from him.

Last but not least-

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

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><p>The Brink of Insanity<p>

By FrostedWings

Like most things being immortal came with its fair share of pros and cons. Fearing death, for instance, was out, but fear of pain- not so much.

Lelouch winced as he examined the nasty bruise she'd delivered him upon her departure. For someone with such a cold exterior, C.C. could really flare up when she wanted to. Lelouch shook his head. No, it wasn't that. By now he just knew how to get under her skin. He was manipulative by nature, and after living with the witch for over two decades now, he'd pretty much figured out what could make her tick. But then again…

Carefully he pressed his long, pale fingers against the purple blotch on his arm. Scrunching up his face in pain, Lelouch abandoned the windowsill and went in search of the first-aid kit.

The tiny cottage they'd bought was nothing special. More than anything, it was isolated. However, as Lelouch unwrapped a Cheese-kun bandaid from its paper casing, he couldn't stop himself from glancing out the window. Carefully, he scanned the horizon for her figure. Seeing none, the man bowed his head slightly and sighed.

These days Lelouch just couldn't stand it. That mask she wore in rain or shine. Unreadable. Untouchable. He hated it. He wanted to change it.

Maybe that's why on days like today, when she seemed so far away and the loneliness of eternal life felt unbearable, he would pick a fight with her. He wanted to get behind the mask. Closer. He wanted her nearer all the time. She was never close enough.

At some point in their many fights he'd cross a line and she'd leave him, much like today. Sometimes for a week, a month, or half a year even. He'd turn over every rock and pebble searching, then give up, only to hear rumors of her situated in some nearby pizza parlor. He supposed her sudden and rather convenient reappearances were a sign that, for better or worse, she needed him too.

Lelouch sat very still for a moment, before closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the wall. He couldn't remember when he had become so possessive of C.C.

"_You may think living is painful now, but in a hundred years you won't feel a thing. Enjoy it while it lasts, Lelouch."_

That was probably the first and last piece of advice she'd given him since the start of their new life together.

"Witch," Lelouch murmured bitterly under his breath.

"Warlock," came the reply.

And with a jolt, his eyes shot open.

Given the way she stormed out earlier, Lelouch hadn't expected to see her again for at least a month let alone half an hour.

"C… C.C.!" he stammered, unsure whether to feel relieved or annoyed at her swift return.

"I forgot Cheese-kun," the girl said simply. She didn't look angry anymore. But maybe that was just her façade again.

Immediately Lelouch chose annoyed. But before he could come up with a witty remark, her fingers laced around the crook of his arm, pulling it up and revealing the bandage underneath.

"Ah, I see you're wearing it," she said with a smirk, "I thought you said, you'd never touch my Cheese-kun bandaids.

Lelouch snorted, "Well if you hadn't hit me so hard I wouldn't have to- AGH!" he yelled as she ripped it off and re-plastered it upside down on his cheek.

"Much better," she said flatly and then walked over to raid the room they shared for Cheese-kun.

Lelouch appeared in the doorway looking angry and a little deranged. Walking over to C.C., who was occupied with searching through random piles of pillows and clothes, he gave the girl a good shove, knocking her to the side and sprawling her across, what he had to admit, was a rather messy floor.

However, in the silence that followed, the array of insults and scolding Lelouch had prepared for her suddenly died in his throat. His eyes were caught on the way the tips of her hair fanned out, making it seem as though she was laying in a sea of green. Suddenly fixating on her face, he brought his thumb up to caress her lower lip before moving higher in order to push aside a lock from the immortal's eye. Briefly he allowed his thumb to linger on the soft skin of her jaw.

Lelouch's breath hitched in his throat. Sometimes he forgot just how beautiful C.C. really was.

"Are you done?" she asked, her dead-pan tone a not-so-subtle cue that it was time to pull back. But Lelouch didn't comply. Instead he let his hand slip down under her ear, cupping her head. All the anger and desperation from their former dispute was forgotten. His eyes were glazed over with longing. Yet his movements remained calculating and methodical as he adjusted her chin at just the right angle and leaned forward to kiss her.

His face was mere inches away when she stopped him, using both hands to keep him at length.

"Lelouch…" she protested, as his lips descended upon her cheek instead.

He pulled back.

"Why not?" he asked gently, so close that she could feel his breath brush her skin. "If I didn't know better I'd say that you've lost interest in kissing me… Ever since I became immortal that is…"

She made no reply. Merely gave his chest a good shove and turned on her side so she was no longer facing him.

"Is that it C.C.?" he continued, still leaning over her, "you're afraid that soon I'll be so old and numb from life I won't love you anymore? That you yourself no longer have the capacity to love after all these years?"

"It's eternity Lelouch, not summer vacation," she muttered, eyes closed.

He smirked. "Over twenty years with you is hardly a vacation."

Another shove- this time to his collarbone.

Despite the pain, he chuckled and ran his hand up and down her back soothingly.

"Rather than waiting for ourselves to go numb, wouldn't it be better if we did everything we could to feel alive?"

She was about to reply when suddenly he pressed his mouth up against her ear.

"I'm not going to waste any clichés on you, C.C.," he said gruffly, "But just to make it clear…I… _I want you_. You make me feel alive."

A minute of silence passed between them, and then another. Dismayed, finally he took that as her answer.

Slowly, C.C. felt him withdraw, his body heat evaporating with the separation. Yanking Cheese-kun out of the crevice between the wall and the bed, Lelouch tossed the obnoxiously large yellow plush beside her and went to take his leave. "I'll be in my office," he said coldly. "And C.C… Ah…" She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Briefly his face softened again.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you."

:

:

:

~Evening~

Lelouch sat at his desk, feeling foolish. He expected C.C. and Cheese-kun would be long gone by now.

She drove him to the brink of insanity and back again. But he had to ask, when did it start? This terrible, twisted longing he had that burned her name on his tongue and branded her face on his heart.

Last time he checked C.C. was his accomplice, a friend, nothing more. But they had grown close over the years, much closer... Yet still he remained unsatisfied...

Burying his face in his hands, Lelouch groaned as he felt it overtake him again. That need to find her, claim her, possess her as his own.

_This longing…_

He wanted to carry it forever.

/He wanted to crush it in his grasp…

His mind spinning, Lelouch did something he would never do under any, normal circumstances, or that is, act without a plan.

He was feeling rash.

Letting anger take control, Lelouch stood up, grabbed a nearby shoulder bag and started packing things haphazardly. If she was just going to come and go as she pleased, then he had no intention of staying just to wait for her to drop by. He was tired of isolation. Of her games.

But more than anything what Lelouch couldn't accept was the witch's determination to simply wither away. It was evident, to him at least, that C.C. was anything but numb. No, immortal or not, unlike _her_,he was going to live, not in some isolated cottage, but around people…

Suddenly the door creaked.

The warlock froze in mid-thought, his spontaneity all but forgotten.

Moving forward, C.C. entered the room with a laugh.

"You're looking jilted," she remarked, a small, but wavering smile playing about her lips. "Did some lover cheat on you?"

He stared.

"And isn't it supposed to be the other way around?" she continued sarcastically, yellow eyes flickering somewhere between uncertainty and a playful kind of arrogance. "Aren't you supposed to be standing outside, yelling while she throws all your things out the window?"

Lelouch dumped his bag on the desk and faced away from her. He didn't think he could take it. If she was just toying with him again… then…

Abruptly he felt her arms wrap around his waist.

_Oh, screw it. _

"C.C.-!" he exclaimed, turning around and backing her into the nearest wall.

With barely a moment's hesitation their lips met, limbs tangling together as each asserted their right to dominate. Lelouch moaned her real name once, twice, three times against her lips as his heart went up in flames.

Gradually the demon prince felt himself come down from his high, only to go back up again as C.C. leaned forward and whispered against his cheek.

"Lelouch," she huffed, her breathing ragged yet soft, "make me… make me _alive_."

After a moment's pause, he chuckled, sending vibrations down her skin.

"And how do you propose I do that, Witch?"

She tried to match his smirk but couldn't quite manage it. Much to his astonishment, her voice broke and her eyes watered as she gave her reply.

"Be with me?"

A suggestion? No, it almost sounded like a plea.

His eyes widened.

_And I thought I was lonely…_

Lelouch didn't know when she'd dropped her mask, why his guard had fallen, or how it was possible that his ever calculating, analytical mind had simply switched off.

He just held her.

Tears soaked his shirt, and Lelouch could feel her trembling against him.

The witch dug her fingernails so deep into his shoulder blades that, for a moment, it felt as if they'd draw blood. But Lelouch didn't care. He was too busy being struck by the horror of his own ignorance.

"C.C." he wondered aloud, "how did I miss it..?"

Her desperation.

Possessiveness.

Doubts and desires that so deeply mirrored his own…

He'd driven her to the brink of insanity and back again, all the while thinking…

_She just doesn't care. _

Grief, pain, and pleasure all mixed as their lips brushed again. Without a word they devoured their fears, closing the distance between them until nothing but raw and utter tenderness remained.

:

A day later, C.C. would order pizza for breakfast. She'd apply a new Cheese-kun bandage to the warlock's arm, then slap another one on his forehead to match. She'd tease him about secretly being a romantic. Accuse him of delivering horrifyingly cheesy sentences (that he'd clearly never uttered), and complain that she had hurt her back when he pinned her on the floor the day before.

Upon hearing this last part, Lelouch would smirk and ask if she'd like to repeat that position somewhere more comfortable, only to give a startled yelp as she tackled him to the bed.

C.C. drove him to the brink of insanity and back again.

But truth be told, he was glad she did.

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><p>AN: Right now I'm a bit too close to this piece to analyze it objectively. But anyways, I hope you enjoyed the ride! And please review! Any feedback, good or bad, is much appreciated.


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